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C-BERSS EX-PRESS
September 2001
Issue 3, Vol 4
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All Newsletters : September 2001 : Searching Since 1958
Searching Since 1958
The story of Tom Connolly’s long search
to find his family as told to
C-BERS Counselor Sjouke Tarbox
and published with Tom’s permission.
I started looking for my family back in 1958.
I had left Clontarf in 1958, starting work on a farm for six months. This family helped me to get me a job on another farm 22 miles east of Mukinbudin. This is where I met the Morrisson family. They have been the most wonderful people in my life, they are the family I never had to this day. Old Mrs Morrisson wrote to Somerset house on my behalf in 1958 trying to trace my family. As my surname was spelled incorrectly my family could not be traced at that time. I left it at that for many years.
Trying Again
In 1995 I met a friend from Clontarf who put me on to Sr. Tania from the Catholic Migrant Centre and C-BERS where I received counselling.
With the help of Sr Tania and Michael Lyons from the UK my mother was found.
Unfortunately a Social Worker knocked at my mother’s door unannounced with the news that her son (myself) lived in Australia and wanted to make contact with her. She was shocked, her reaction was that she did not want to know about me and refused any further contact.
My mother had married soon after I was placed into an orphanage. She and my stepfather tried twice to get me back. Her husband had agreed to bring me back into the family. They were told both times that I had been adopted. That was the last she heard of me.
A Family Connection
I was aware though that I did have half brothers and sisters.
Three years ago my Adult Education Tutor Valerie searched the Internet and found half a dozen people with the name of Devaney. By making a phone call that night Valerie hit the jackpot! She spoke with Pat, my half brother Stephen’s wife. They did not know that I existed.
They were excited to discover that they did have me as their brother in Australia. Stephen wrote to me soon after telling me about my other sisters, Bea and Pat and my brother Shaun and their families, whom he had contacted with the news.
Mum Comes Round
Steve together with Michael Lyons tried to work out which would be the best way to approach Mum to try and change her mind about meeting with me, seeing that now the rest of the family knew about me. She had never told anyone about me. It was Pat, Steve’s wife who is very close to Mum who was able, together with Steve, to soften Mum’s resolve in the end.
One of my workmates who is a bit psychic told me one day out of the blue that Mum would agree to see me but that the meeting could be hostile. Another person I knew who reads tea leaves asked me into her kitchen one day. I asked her “will I ever meet my mother?” She said” I see someone pushing down your shoulders”. She hesitated for a while, then said she couldn’t do anymore and suggested I see a Clairvoyant who told me the same, yes, I would see my mother but she also said that the meeting could be hostile.
Meeting Family
In the meantime Steve decided to come to Australia to meet me. Unbeknown to me I also discovered that I had a sister living in Victoria who had been looking for me for many years! It was with the help of the Child Migrant Trust that she located me, so all at once I had a sister and brother to come and visit me!
Success At Last
Twelve months ago, with the help of C-BERS I decided to travel to the UK to meet with my Mother who now had agreed to see me and to reunite with my long lost family.
My meeting with mum was not hostile, it was tense of course at first, but as time went by we got closer and now we have regular contact by phone, cards and letters.
Over the years Christmas and birthdays have always been very lonely. Now I know I have a family: my life has more meaning I am not alone anymore. I am more content knowing that there is someone out there for me.
Photos, from top: (1)Tom meets up with his mother and his Aunty May. (2)Tom with his sister Bea.
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