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C-BERSS EX-PRESS
March 2001
Issue 1, Vol 4
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All Newsletters : March 2001 : A Second Chance in Life
A Second Chance in Life
Tardun ex-resident John Ryall felt he benefited
so much from the counselling he received from
C-BERS, he wanted to share with other
ex-residents his new found lease of life.
John submitted his personal story
for inclusion in C-BERS EX-PRESS.
This article is long overdue, it should have been written quite some time ago. In writing it I hope to express my thanks to C-BERS for their part in giving me a new start in life. This to some might sound a bit dramatic, but believe me, I needed all the help I could get to change the downward spiral to where I was heading.
John
Before I made contact with C-BERS, I was a very sick emotional person, full of blame towards everything and everyone who had entered my life or may have entered my life. I felt like "THE WORLD OWED ME!"
Like many other men I came from England in the 1950’s. I was born on the 13th of October 1945, just after the Second World War. Thousands of children like myself were in the same circum-stances, without any knowledge of who they really were, or if they were loved by anyone in this world.
My mother gave me up at three months of age. This, I was to find out later, caused me great emotional trauma which affects me to this day. I say "to this day" for, despite a lot of therapy, the emotional scars are still there.
On reaching my forty-sixth birthday I had resigned myself to the fact that no woman would want me in her life as I thought then that I was incapable of living with another person.
For up to forty-seven years of my life I had lived in a very dysfunctional way, not wanting to change. Alcohol was my escape from reality.
Only one person could have got me off my sick merry-go-round, and that was ME. I had the choice to stay in the "BLAME GAME" or start to get well.
Before starting therapy, I started attending meetings of Alcoholics’ Anonymous. Here I was to learn that if I wanted to get well I had to get honest.
To get to the bottom of my many problems I realised I needed professional help. At this point of time I was in contact with the people at C-BERS. I was introduced to a C-BERS counsellor, a very good and understanding person who has since left. On my first visit I said to her that this would only take two months, she replied "in your case... try two years". After three-and-a-half years I had sorted out many issues that only a professional therapist with skill and patience could have helped me with.
At my first interview I was told that this would be one of the hardest and most painful things I would ever do. It was!! At times it seemed to go on forever but my persistence paid off.
Today, at the age of 55, I live with my new wife Eileen (we only just got married a few months ago) and I attend University studying music. Although I occasionally see a therapist at CBERS I also use the program of Alcoholics’ Anonymous to help me cope with life.
Thanks to CBERS I met my mother for the first time in 1998. Going back to Wales to meet her answered many questions.
Living life as an orphan was not the ideal way to grow up, and some of the Brothers were unsuited to the task of caring for boys with my background. However many of the Brothers gave all they could, for this I thank them all, living and dead.
For the past six years I have been a member of the TARDUN OLD BOYS ASSOCIATION. We meet for weekends at Moore River and various other venues. The bond between us grows as we meet. To me this is my family. I hope to see more of you old boys on these occasions. They really are well worth the effort.
By telling my story I hope it will encourage others to seek the help that C-BERS offers.
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