A Surprise Homecoming
Tardun Old Boy John Hawkins writes of the surprise ending to his visit to the English village in which his mother lived after she had initially rejected his request to meet her
After many years of fruitless search, I eventually discovered the whereabouts of my mother. She lived in the village of Selsey near Chichester in the south of England. I felt it prudent to write to the Catholic priest in Selsey, with a copy of my birth certificate to ask for his assistance.
In time a reply came back from a Father Price who explained that my mother indeed lived in the village, that she was a well known business woman and a devout Catholic who attended mass every day. He also explained that she was a personal friend of his and that he would find it rather difficult to break the news to her, but he would do his best.
A couple of months later Fr Price wrote to say that he had passed the information on to my mother and that she would be writing to me soon. Eventually she did write explaining in a one page note that she was happily married and that she had no real desire to meet me, as it could bring turmoil to her family. She did express some sympathy and said that she’d given me up for adoption and had no idea that I had gone to Australia, aged seven, to face a childhood growing up in institutions. Naturally I was very disappointed with the response – rejection wasn’t something I had considered.
Without alerting Fr Price, I surprised him one day when I arrived to meet with him in the village of Selsey. I insisted that I had no intention to barge in on my mother’s life. I showed him a copy of my mother’s letter and suggested that “I would be happy just to see her in the flesh”.
He advised me to come to mass in the morning as she would almost certainly be there. With the photo that I had acquired from Fr Price, I sat quietly at the back of the church, observing the three women who knelt near the front.
Just before the end of the service my mother left her seat and began walking toward me. She paused -I thought for me – but it was to light some candles before she left the church. I decided to attend the mass the following morning for just one last look before going to Wales to stay with some friends.
After the second service, Fr Price inquired where I was staying in the village and what my plans were. I said that I was satisfied now that I had seen my mother and that I would be leaving for Wales in the morning.
With a keen interest in English history and a strong sense of belonging, I spent the rest of the day acquainting and absorbing myself in the history of Selsey and Chichester.
Around 9.30 that night, someone began knocking on my hotel room door. I opened the door to be confronted by a rather attractive young woman who momentarily looked at me before bursting into tears. She said her name was Susan, that she was my sister, and that I was coming home.
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C-BERS Counsellor Michael Anderson (a history buff by heart) helped to instigate and organise the project.